It's been a while....

I have had a hard time blogging lately. There is just not a lot going on here. I have to find a topic here and there and just blog I guess. LOL

Herman just got approved for a Stafford loan, so we won't have to pay for anymore of his 2nd master's degree (at least not now, LOL) and he can also get his PhD if he wants. Yay!! He should be finished with his ed leadership certification in December I think.

I am going to start my BSN, hopefully in January. I just want to get it done, and then, depending on how I feel, I may go on for my masters, and possibly my ARNP. Taking baby steps for now. We'll see.

I have been working a lot lately. We can use the money, but oh so tired I am. I just realized I totally sounded like Yoda just then. LOL. It's a full moon, plus with all the rain lately, everyone is birthing babies. Busy busy.

My big sister Elizabeth turns the big 4-0 on the 15th, so she wants to go to Disney for her birthday. We are doing a sister extravaganza, and me, Liz, and Trish are going together--no kids, no hubbies, just sisters. Us three old gals haven't done a trip like that in years. It ought to be lots of fun.

My minions are the same. Crazy little messmakers. Micah starts 1st grade here soon. We will be homeschooling again this year, but will probably try public school again in 2nd grade. We'll see how things go.

Laney is busy coloring herself with a highlighter right now. sigh. Guess I need to stop and give her a bath. LOL

I just want to say before I log off for now, my hubby has been extra great this week. Just been rough around here for me with the extra shifts--and he has really been awesome. Taking care of the kids and the house, making sure I have uniforms for work, and something to eat, and putting up with my grouchy, not-enough-sleep attitude. Thanks to my extra special hubby. Love you!!

Help

You know, sometimes you gotta call Uncle.

I'm calling it loudly.

I just feel like a big empty hole. I feel like I don't do anything right, I can't focus, I can't think at all. I feel like I just don't matter if that makes any sense.

Maybe I just need a Prozac. :)

I feel like I am so far from God that it will take me centuries to get back. I don't even know where to begin with that.

Someone tell me how??

I feel like there is some stuff from my past that put me here. I need to get over it. I need to move on, but for some reason, I just can't.

I have questions for God that can't be answered now, that I will probably NEVER have answers to, and boy does it leave me bitter. How do I get past that?? How do I put it aside and ask for forgiveness, when I mostly feel like I really don't need it?? I mean, why aren't I entitled to question God's ways?? There's just no closure when you ask a question, and there is never an answer.

I guess you could say, I believe in God and Jesus, I just feel seperated. Like I believe, but I don't get it. Maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe I am having a midlife crisis (at 33, ha ha), or maybe I'm just a struggling adult who feels like there is no answer in sight, and I am scared of what is REALLY out there. Is there really Heaven and Hell?? Will I close my eyes and as my last breath escapes my lips will that be the end of it all?? No family waiting to greet me, no blessed white light, just a few fuzzy memories of my life as my last brain cells fizzle out.

This is just what has been bothering me for a long time.

I guess you could say the blind unwavering faith I had as a child and young adult grew some eyeballs and started to stagger. Scary stuff for me. I hate it.

My Sweet Boy

My sweet handsome son.



He can be goofy, too. LOL



When they put him in my arms, I was so taken by what a beautiful baby he was. He stole my heart from day one and I cannot imagine my life without him.

I like to compare him to George Washington--the child cannot tell a lie. He is honest, even when he knows he's gonna get in trouble. He just can't bring himself to be dishonest.

He loves to play video games--and he's really good at them. He loves playing with his Daddy on the "X-Box 316." Yeah, I know it's the X-Box 360, but he calls it the X-Box 316, and it's so cute I just can't correct him.

He loves his sister. I was always afraid of there being some jealousy there, but he seemed to go with the flow, and we have never had many problems. He plays with her, waits on her, and makes sure nobody messes with her. Awesome big brother.

He loves hugs and kisses and to snuggle with his mama. I know someday, he won't wanna hang with me anymore, so I am enjoying it while I can. He climbs in bed and watches cartoons with me every morning.

His favorite things are Gorillas (especially King Kong), The Hulk, and Dinosaurs. He could give a lecture on dinosaurs.

He absolutely adores his Daddy. I think if he could be attached to Herman and go wherever he went all day, he would be happiest.

While Micah has his challenges with his AS and ADHD, he is a wonderful child. I thank God for him every day, and I am so proud to be his mother.

Loving my sweet boy.

Miss Curly Cue

What happens when you have a crazy curly-headed girl and a web cam??

This:



This:



And This:



She has started telling me that I am the best mommy......EVER. LOL She wants to spend all of her time following me around, helping me clean, doing whatever it is I'm doing.

She only wants me to tuck her in at night. Poor Herman, if he does it, she is out of bed 30 times, picking at him, refuses to go down. I feel bad when he is alone at night on the weekends.

She is very proud of her potty prowess, and does a dance after every tinkle and doo doo to let you know how excited she is to be a big girl. That made tears come to my eyes. Can't she stay my baby??

She dresses herself--in anything she can get her hands on. Yesterday, it was Herman's shirt. She had one leg through an arm hole and the other leg through the neck hole, and informed me that her pants don't fit quite right. LOL

She LOUDLY announces to the world if you toot in her presence, so stifle it. She has radar--it's accurate, and she ALWAYS knows who it was. She is proud to spread the word, too.

She loves to color, and she colors ANYTHING. I have been chasing her through the house all day for the past few weeks with a magic eraser. Her artwork knows no boundaries.

She looks like a combination of me and my mother-in-law. She has MIL's round face and nose, but the rest is me. I can't get OVER how much she looks like me. I see my Daddy in there, too.

She is full of giggles, mischief, and sweetness, and boy do we have fun here.

Loving my sweet girl.

Tomorrow is Micah's turn. :)

Can't I PLEASE Have a Phone??

We have been having phone drama here. Yep. Phone drama.

My poor husband is all thumbs when it comes to holding his cell phone, much less keeping it safe. He breaks one and buys a cheapy and breaks it, too. It's comical. He has been through 4 cell phones in this contract period, and is right now, as we speak, cell phone-less--AGAIN.

He took my LG Envy to work with him, and it fell in a cup of coke. Yep--it's dead. Poor phone didn't stand a chance. So, for about a month and a half, we have paid Verizon, and had no phone.

Herman went to WalMart and bought us each a cheap $25 track phone with 300 minutes to get by with until we had the money to buy GOOD phones. You guessed it, he broke his. The screen is dead, blank, and cracked. Not sure if it will work at all, I haven't tried it. Poor phone.

So, he decides he is gonna get me THE phone of my dreams for a late Mother's day gift. The Samsung Omnia i910. He finds one on Ebay, he wins it. $275 and it had only been used for a week. The guy was selling it because he needs a global phone, and it was past the 30 day return period when he decided to trade up. He had 100% feedback, so we felt it would be cool.

Well, no phone by the 19th, so Herman started investigating. The guy had auctioned off the phone TWO MORE TIMES after he sold it to my hubby, getting $285 for one auction and $295 for another. He even said he had had 2 previous non paying bidders, and if you didn't want it, don't bid. HUH??? Herman checked paypal, and his money was gone, so the guy had his payment. Herman sent the guy a message, and he said he was out of the country until JUNE 2 on his honeymoon and would get back to him then. We still haven't heard from him. Thankfully, PayPal and Ebay took care of the crazy man, and we got our money back.

So two Sundays ago, we had a bad storm, and our home phone went out. It was a FIASCO trying to get a HUMAN from Embarq to talk to me. When I finally got a person on the line, he wanted to know why I wasn't calling him from my house. REALLY?? I explained that my hubby had instant messaged my mom that my phone was out, she called me at work and told me about it. I asked the guy to have someone out to fix it. He then asked me to call my hubby (REALLY??) and tell him to plug the phone into a jack that is in a gray box OUTSIDE my house, and if there is a dial tone, that means the problem is in the house. If not, then that means that it is an Embarq problem, but they can't really do anything until they know which it is. UGH.

Herman downloaded Skype on his computer and called me at work, and said he had already done the box test and that there was no dial tone there either. So I called Embarq AGAIN to let them know, and they said they would send someone on Wednesday to fix it. So, no phone AT ALL until Wednesday. And remember--we are cell-phoneless, too.

Embarq didn't call or show up on Wednesday. Big surprise. In the meantime, the phone would let me dial out occasionally, but any calls in would get the "we're sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is not available" recording and then they'd get hung up on. Most days, we had no phone service at all for 5-8 hours.

So Thursday, a lady from Embarq calls and I was not happy. I told her how nice it was that they were a no call, no show, and that my phone was better, but not right. She assured me that someone would be out on Saturday. After I hung up with her, we had no phone at all again until Saturday. Nice.

Saturday, the guys showed up to "fix" the phone. Apparently, during the storm, lightening struck a telephone pole and fried a box that affected no-one's phone but ours. How do I get so lucky?? If I had good luck, I'd play the lottery.

So, now, the phone is working for the most part, but people are still getting the message when they try to call me. So I called Embarq again today, and someone is gonna come by to fix it. Ha ha. She could only pin it down to "between now (it was 5:30 PM) and 5:00 PM tomorrow." heh heh. I'll be waiting.

The really nice thing is that we got a call from Verizon, and they offered to renew our 2 yr contract NOW instead of in 6 months, and the Omnia was one of the phones I could get. Woo Hoo. It came in the mail yesterday, so now I have my phone. Thanks Verizon!!

I told Herman he needed to get a cheapy because we BOTH know it will be broken in a week anyway. Poor Herman. Nope, poor future phone.

Jury Duty

I got a summons for Jury Duty. Monday, May 4, 2009 at 8:00 AM. I had never been to Jury Duty before, so I had no idea what to expect.

It was an interesting process. We were notified right away that it was gonna be a long day. 6 criminal cases were being heard this week. 6 juries to select for. The room was packed with people. No-one would be leaving the courthouse before 5 PM. That was really good news, since I left my Nintendo DS and my magazines at home.

I knew my luck, and I figured I would be stuck in that room staring at a wall until 5PM.

Well, at 11:00, I was selected for a jury screening, and was told to go to lunch and return to the courthouse at 12:45.

When I got back, they pulled me and 29 others to courtroom 4A and seated us in the jury box. Each of us recieved a page of questions to answer, 14 questions. They wanted our names, how long we have lived in Florida and Marion County, what I did for a living, what my hubby did for a living, how many kids I had and their ages, my hobbies, and then there were a few questions asking if I was friends with judges, attorneys, or law enforcement officers, if I had ever been in a lawsuit, if I had ever been a victim of a crime, and had I ever been arrested. All of us had to answer these questions, and it took forever.

Once that was done, the prosecuter got up and read off the witness list, and talked about the law and asked us questions. Nothing was specifically asked of me, they were general questions that she asked everyone if they agreed with or not, and if their answer troubled her, she would have you elaborate further. She had also been taking notes when we were answering the questionaire, because she asked some people questions related to their answers.

After she finished, the Defense attorney talked a little and asked a few questions. Same deal as the prosecuter. When he was finished, they excused us from the room so they could decide who they wanted on the Jury.

When we were called back, we were told that if our name was called, we would be a juror for this trial that will occur on Thursday, and we need to stay in the jury box for further instructions. My name was the first one they called. OY. Wasn't expecting that.

Tomorrow is a big, stressful day for me. I have never had to do this before, and I am nervous. I want to make the right decision. This is especially hard because it involves a 12 year old little girl, and she will be testifying tomorrow. So sad that she has to do this at all. A big box of kleenex will accompany me in my purse tomorrow.

Please pray for all involved in this case to make the right decision. I pray the evidence that is presented will make the jurors job easy, and not leave anyone torn about their decision. I pray that I can leave the courthouse tomorrow and feel like I made a difference somehow.

Happy Birthday to My Sweet Baby Girl

Three years ago today, my sweet daughter was born. She was a tiny bundle with blonde fuzz and blue eyes, and boy did she make an entrance. I remember seeing her tiny purple foot over the surgical drape and panicking, then the relief of her first cries. She hasn't shut up since. LOL



She has brought much joy and laughter to our lives. Every day is an adventure, and she is always up to some silly antics.

She likes to sing, she loves her brother, and she is a TOTAL Mama's girl. She loves the water, is afraid of dogs, and has a MEAN Incredible Hulk impersonation. She likes to sing Lady Gaga, loves to have her "toe-mails" painted, and loves shopping with her Mommy. This is a good thing, and I am so happy to have such a cute shopping buddy.

I thank God for her every day.

Happy Birthday to my sweet girl. God has blessed me by allowing me to be your mommy.